Accepting limitations can lead to growth
I can't do backflips; some days, the yoga pose pictured above will always be impossble, and I will never understand calculus.
My clients readily concede similar inconsequential personal limitations, such as weak second serves, killing house plants, and messy closets.
It is harder to believe we also have professional limitations. In one recent session, my client shared a problematic feedback session with her skip-level boss. This client, I'll call her Annie, was universally seen as a solid employee with excellent technical skills. She is a self-starter and has led vital marketing efforts, resulting in successful events.
Annie is involved in Senior Level meetings to develop the marketing strategy for a critical annual event. After one big meeting, Annie's skip-level boss shared some feedback:
"You have a certain tone when talking to teammates, and you don't seem open to senior leaders' ideas."
This feedback shocked Annie. She didn't think she had a tone. She was always polite, and she after all, didn't she have a right to her opinions? She had been instrumental to the success of this event for years.
However, upon reflection, Annie admitted she gets frustrated when senior leaders make suggestions or set directions that she knows won't work. That frustration might have shown up at the meeting. She also knows she might be brusque or impatient when working with unproductive or unresponsive teammates. Maybe she did have a tone, maybe she did roll her eyes occasionally.
When Annie realized the feedback had some validity, the panic set in. Her first thought:
Maybe she was about to be fired or maybe she should quit!
Her second reaction was to blame others.
If Senior Leaders read her emails, they would know what is going on. If her teammates did their work, she wouldn't be frustrated with them. If others changed she wouldn't have a tone.
I've often seen these reactions in many coaching clients and to be honest-in myself too.
Fortunately, Annie decided to choose a third option.
See this as a professional limitation.
Annie knew that her career and advancement potential would be limited if she didn't practice new ways of interacting. She accepted that she had to change and she decided to work on new more productive and positive ways to interact with co-workers.
Annie is now exploring and experimenting with new approaches:
She wants to be open to input, and genuinely invite opinions.
She realizes that it takes takes time to bring folks along.
She accepts that creating a strategy is a process (and time consuming).
She is working to be more tolerant and forgiving of teammates.
It is tough to admit that some skills need work, especially soft skills that are vital to advancement. But we all have limitations in some areas and facing our limitations without blaming others or escaping is a task worth taking on.