Yep, You Failed

Failing. How can that ever be viewed positively? My clients don't have much experience with failure. High school: top of the class. College: top of the class. Graduate school: top of the class. Then on to a career of one promotion after another.

At some point, even the best stumble, and when failure comes for high achievers, it hits hard, and the blame usually is for one of these reasons:

• Impossible deadlines

• Inadequate resources

• Difficult teammates

• Bosses who don't .....

It feels good to blame others for our failures, but that makes us powerless.

Fred Kofman has a wonderful video on YouTube called Be a Player, not a Victim. I often recommend this to clients, and I've mentioned it in earlier newsletters.

I'm recommending it again.

Some folks refer to this as Radical Responsibility. I see it seeing the power we have. 

As Fred points out: You're not late for a meeting because the other meeting ran over, you're late because you CHOSE to stay in the earlier meeting. Maybe it was the right choice, maybe not, but you gain power when you consciously choose to either leave the meeting or be not.

The shift from the Victim to the Player mindset opens up a world of choices. 

Failure is the jolt we need to see our choices, to make them starkly visible. 

• Choose to recognize your limits and secure necessary resources. Then ask for help when you're punching above your weight class.

• Choose to become skillful in accommodating difficult teammates. Don't expect others to change; you change to be more effective.

• Ask questions if you don't understand an assignment. Choose to be more informed.

You are making choices every day; it's on you to become a Player.