What is the most dreaded workplace question?

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

George Bernard Shaw

The most dreaded workplace phrase is: "Can I give you some feedback?"

That question always prompts a feeling of dread--and often the feedback itself will be largely ineffective.

At its root, feedback is a power trip. The person giving feedback is perceived of as the all-knowing, in-charge performance arbiter. In a typical feedback conversation, the boss leads the discussion and declares what went well and what needs attention. The boss's opinions have weight but often lack insight. They didn't do the work, and therefore may not know the intricacies of the project. Only the employee is aware of the breadth of challenges their job entails. Their insights are diminished and quieted.

Employees are in the best position to review their own performance. And yet traditional feedback sessions silence their expertise. Instead of these sessions, I suggest having a calibration dialog, so that the employee can enlighten the boss.

How does this work?

Assume an employee has recently finished a project. Next, the employee prepares for the calibration dialog by compiling a complete list of the tasks, items, behaviors, and work involved with the project. Each item on the list is then rated as Excellent, Very Good, OK, or Needs Improvement.

The employee shares the task ratings and discusses them with the boss. The employee is responsible for improving performance, and the boss accepts responsibility for noticing these improvements.

I have created a simple Dialogue Calibration tool, learn more about how to use it on my website. I hope you give it a try, and please share your thoughts.